


Snarky Grin Hides the Sentimental

by jesterlady



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Canon Het Relationship, F/M, One Shot, Romance, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica's thoughts about Logan over the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snarky Grin Hides the Sentimental

Okay, he's an ass. But, as the saying goes, he's my ass. There are certain advantages to his behavior as it allows me to act like the female version of an ass. We're both predisposed to hide our true feelings behind a certain amount of snark. He's one of the only people who can get to me with his comments and I know that I can get to him. It's fun most of the time and I know he thinks so, too.

But, of course, we each have our vulnerable side. He's not afraid of laying himself on the line for someone he truly cares about. He told off a house full of his friends for looking shocked at our new relationship. Sometimes, it may take him getting drunk to get to the actual epic proportions of his feelings, but his actions usually bear them out. It's really his words that bite. They do bite me, but now I know why he uses them. And he'll always be there whether I'm getting kidnapped by the FBI, about to get shot by a psychopathic schoolmate, or getting my hair done by a rapist.

He's a bit over the top occasionally. It's a defense mechanism. It can be drawn out of despair like when he's drunk on a bridge in the middle of the night being attacked by bikers, or from a sense of honor as he streaks through his class on campus after losing a bet. But you can tell when he’s insecure even if he’s acting cocky. He’ll pull his sleeves over his hands and play with them, or grasp a shirt or a pillow to his face. I think it’s like security to him. He also touches his temple a lot. You see, I pay attention to everything he does.

He’s really graceful. Probably not the word he would have chosen, but if you watch him, he has a way of waltzing through life like a cat. His body is lithe, balanced, and even his long fingers and eyebrows make his life a dance. Sometimes a dance with death, danger, and stupidity; but, if you know the steps and see the genius behind them, it’s beautiful.

That’s because there’s so much more to him than his past. I’d rather go sunbathing with Madison than have his family and childhood. I don’t know if anyone else could have handled it the way he did. He’s got scars, and not just from the abuse; he’s remarkably vulnerable. Still, he puts up walls when he feels he might be letting in too much or if he’s afraid of what someone would do if they knew the truth.

But I’ve never known someone who tries harder or always gets back up after being knocked down. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve done that to him. But he’s persistent even when he doesn’t try. Because he will give space when needed and he doesn’t like to bully people into doing things. But just his presence or the comments he can’t help making roll over me like fresh air and I all of a sudden feel like I’m suffocating unless he’s there. 

He hates not being trusted yet he always lies to protect himself. We had gotten to the point where he wouldn’t lie; he would just refuse to tell me the truth. I can’t let things like that go because I can’t trust. Yes, we are rather contradictory together. Whether or not he’s afraid of what I’ll do when I see into him, it doesn’t stop him from seeing into me. He always tells me the truth about myself. And he knows that truth inside and out. I’m ashamed to say that his love is unconditional and that mine sometimes comes with strings attached. I don’t like being told the truth, but I like to dish it out. He takes it like a man and then tosses it right back at me. It’s hard to argue with the truth. He just wants to be sharing and helping and on level with me. But either he or I usually ruin that process.

He messes up and doesn't like being held down. But he always comes back. It's not like I'm a saint. I get scared and run away for no reason. But I'm always faithful. And he always comes through.

There are a lot of other guys in this world: sweet, good, and faithful men. These men aren’t rich, spoiled bad boys used to getting their way. I’ve tried to run away from him to them and it’s worked pretty well for a while. But then: life, my desires, his persistence; something always bring me back to him. 

I remember the defining moment when I decided that no matter what he did, who he slept with while we weren’t together, what overprotective measures he took, what smart ass remarks he made, or what fears and demons threatened to overwhelm either of us, I would always be with him. It was the moment when he offered to die for me. He’s laid his life on the line for me before and I always knew he’d be willing to do so. But it was the way he did it and the situation he did it in. It was pointless and we weren’t even together, but he beat up a jerk, with knuckles already bruised for attempting the same thing just before, for no reason other than to defend my honor. It was stupid because touching that guy was like signing a suicide note; but he did it, without hesitation, for me. It was a quiet, private moment, but it was the most important decision of my life. 

I still retreat, he still screws up. But somehow we can't get away from each other. Maybe that is the definition of epic. We're drawn to each other like moths to flame. Great, just what I always wanted my love life to be like. But when we're lying together in his hotel room, and, believe me, he didn't do it wrong; there's no other way I would have it. That's why people write songs about Logan and I.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own VM.


End file.
